( wanda shakes her head at his disbelief, but finds no real terseness in his voice, nothing that really shames her for what she's done. some trepidation remains, but she has already made it this far, and it's not like cassian's subsequent questions make her feel like this was a mistake—even if she does wish she could take it back.
there's anger there, solid, and a comforting emotion, despite herself. )
It's a long story.
( is what she manages as an initial explanation, wanting to try and keep the anger that he's showing at bay; it's not his fight to fight, and it's not the type of situation that he deserves to be angry about. wanda — doesn't know how she feels about that, really. )
I told you my home was at war. We wanted to help, and this felt like the only way we wouldn't have been powerless to do anything about it. ( it's not a choice she is particularly proud of, as she had been the one who was against it initially. pietro had been more enthused. ) We did it because we wanted to.
( for the most part. and if there's something wanda would never do, is to take a step back and act like she isn't accountable for her actions. she glances up at him, meets his eyes. )
Why ( wanda stops to consider asking the following, uncertain if he'll question how she knows, but it might just be something he considers is easy to read, ) are you angry?
[ His reassurance comes almost immediately with no hesitation. ]
And I'm not going anywhere.
[ That much feels like it doesn't need to be said. But then again, maybe it does. Because after something like that maybe she does need the reassurance more than he thinks she might.
Her abridged version still gleans more details than he knows he should be privy to or perhaps allowed. And it makes him wonder, briefly, if he and Kerri had been put in similar positions, would they have agreed to that too? If there were a procedure, an experiment, that would make it easier for them to fight against the Empire, would they have done what Wanda and her brother had done?
Would he have agreed to let Kerri do such a thing?
When Wanda poses her question, he catches on quickly enough. And it provides a prompt for him to consider the emotion that had welled up in his chest. Perhaps the anger isn't so much that as it is...protectiveness. He shakes his head. ]
Experiment makes it sound like you were both treated less than. You - [ He can't dull the sharpness of his tone on the offset, but he manages to wrangle it back. Or ties to anyway. ] it couldn't have been easy. [ Painless, he means. ] For either of you.
( the light overhead buzzes with a sudden burst of electricity, usually a tell-tale sign that the generators keeping the neighborhood alight might give and leave them in darkness for a while. blackouts are, after all, not uncommon. it might result in no such thing, though. it's in that lapse of time, of uncertainty, that wanda leans forward on the bed and reaches for one of his hands.
he's — not going anywhere, and something swells, inside her. a comfort she hadn't felt in a long time. )
I don't think my life was ever important.
( anchoring herself to him, she says as much, silently. it is the truth though, despite how depressing otherwise this statement does sound. when her parents were killed, her life just felt like an abyss she hasn't been able to climb out of, and especially now with losing pietro— she had hoped to find a sense of purpose with the avengers, but, in all, it didn't make her feel any better.
that being said, her brother, )
He was killed.
( and now, she's alone.
her hands tighten around his. )
I just — want to belong. ( and with belonging comes being able to be useful to others, to him; to be open about her powers, using them to help. ) I want to help.
[ The news of her brother hits closer to home than he anticipates it would. Hearing about the loss of a sibling would always do that to him, hurt nestling like a splinter in his heart. No matter how much he tried to harden his heart to the world and let go of something that everyone told him was not his fault, there was no amount of atonement that would make him believe that.
That Wanda has had to walk through life for however long without her brother is something he can empathize with, at least to a certain degree. With Kerri, he at least wants to believe that she's somewhere out in the galaxy. He hopes. Because the alternative is this.
The devastation and pain that still haunts her, the admission that she has never thought her life important, roots him to the core. When the lights flicker he doesn't move, and all but erases the instinct for him to pull away when she reaches for his hand. And when it tightens around his, he grips back.
There's so much more he wants to say. He wants to fiercely tell her that her life is important; and if she wouldn't take the word of a guy she's only known a month or so here then she should think about what her brother would say. Instead he swallows, voice softening. ]
You made sure I ate. You're staying here to make sure that my hitchhiker doesn't return. All of that sounds like you're helping me.
( he may really just be a guy she's only known for a month, and she may have come here to help him instead of finding some solace for herself, but— cassian doesn't draw his hand back, only holds tighter onto her own. every small thing that he thinks about and doesn't say, it pulses stronger into her telepathic net, and wanda doesn't 'hear' it in her mind so much as she feels it.
an unwavering warmth, a fierce urge of protectiveness bolstered by deep understanding.
(it feels wonderful to connect like this. to not be left on her own ocean of grief, running out of air and sinking.)
with a sniffle, wanda brings her other hand up to rub at her eyes, the overwhelming sensation drawing tears to her eyes. here, now, she presents as vulnerable and open to cassian; a guy she's only known a month or so, but someone whom she would like to consider a friend, if he'd let her. someone worth trusting, at least. )
...my brother's name was Pietro. I'd — like for him to be remembered, by others, sometimes.
( she says, softly. and because it's true—that she is helping, and he is letting her, she adds, )
[ Cassian doesn't have powers like Wanda does. He can't feel the way others feel - good or bad. But he understands that concept. Of a person who is simply there, telling you that they'll stay no matter. The act of that is a balm and has been a balm for him more times than he'd like to admit. Especially as the days have stretched on for him the more he does for the rebellion and for Luthen and the more blood that begins to stain his hands.
Even as she begins to cry he stays there, resolute. The name of her brother - her twin - hangs in the air between like a phantom presence. A ghost that she carries with her now and always. It's something he understands. This sentiment of a loved one being remembered by others that they trust.
No one he knows has ever met Kerri. The thought of her memory, her existence, snuffing out should something, when something, happens to him is makes his heart clench. ]
I'll remember him.
[ As for the quiet resignation, well. His lips quirk slightly at that. ]
( with their hands together, intertwined, wanda feels reluctant to let go, of putting back some distance between them. she can feel the plastic of his pinky against her hand, but that's okay. maybe he won't feel it, and it'll make him forget of his current plight of turning plastic.
though she agrees that she'll stay until he finishes his dinner, wanda stays for longer, a few more hours, keeping him company, reading the magazines that he has in a corner of the room, making herself at home on his bed—all the while he putters away with C4T, works on his own little projects; until sleep threatens to close her eyes does she get up, putting her boots back on, and promising him that she's a call away.
this company—it was definitely something she needed, quiet and subtle. hopefully it did him good, too, even if they hadn't run into either of their mannequins. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
there's anger there, solid, and a comforting emotion, despite herself. )
It's a long story.
( is what she manages as an initial explanation, wanting to try and keep the anger that he's showing at bay; it's not his fight to fight, and it's not the type of situation that he deserves to be angry about. wanda — doesn't know how she feels about that, really. )
I told you my home was at war. We wanted to help, and this felt like the only way we wouldn't have been powerless to do anything about it. ( it's not a choice she is particularly proud of, as she had been the one who was against it initially. pietro had been more enthused. ) We did it because we wanted to.
( for the most part. and if there's something wanda would never do, is to take a step back and act like she isn't accountable for her actions. she glances up at him, meets his eyes. )
Why ( wanda stops to consider asking the following, uncertain if he'll question how she knows, but it might just be something he considers is easy to read, ) are you angry?
no subject
And I'm not going anywhere.
[ That much feels like it doesn't need to be said. But then again, maybe it does. Because after something like that maybe she does need the reassurance more than he thinks she might.
Her abridged version still gleans more details than he knows he should be privy to or perhaps allowed. And it makes him wonder, briefly, if he and Kerri had been put in similar positions, would they have agreed to that too? If there were a procedure, an experiment, that would make it easier for them to fight against the Empire, would they have done what Wanda and her brother had done?
Would he have agreed to let Kerri do such a thing?
When Wanda poses her question, he catches on quickly enough. And it provides a prompt for him to consider the emotion that had welled up in his chest. Perhaps the anger isn't so much that as it is...protectiveness. He shakes his head. ]
Experiment makes it sound like you were both treated less than. You - [ He can't dull the sharpness of his tone on the offset, but he manages to wrangle it back. Or ties to anyway. ] it couldn't have been easy. [ Painless, he means. ] For either of you.
no subject
he's — not going anywhere, and something swells, inside her. a comfort she hadn't felt in a long time. )
I don't think my life was ever important.
( anchoring herself to him, she says as much, silently. it is the truth though, despite how depressing otherwise this statement does sound. when her parents were killed, her life just felt like an abyss she hasn't been able to climb out of, and especially now with losing pietro— she had hoped to find a sense of purpose with the avengers, but, in all, it didn't make her feel any better.
that being said, her brother, )
He was killed.
( and now, she's alone.
her hands tighten around his. )
I just — want to belong. ( and with belonging comes being able to be useful to others, to him; to be open about her powers, using them to help. ) I want to help.
no subject
That Wanda has had to walk through life for however long without her brother is something he can empathize with, at least to a certain degree.
With Kerri, he at least wants to believe that she's somewhere out in the galaxy. He hopes. Because the alternative is this.
The devastation and pain that still haunts her, the admission that she has never thought her life important, roots him to the core. When the lights flicker he doesn't move, and all but erases the instinct for him to pull away when she reaches for his hand. And when it tightens around his, he grips back.
There's so much more he wants to say. He wants to fiercely tell her that her life is important; and if she wouldn't take the word of a guy she's only known a month or so here then she should think about what her brother would say. Instead he swallows, voice softening. ]
You made sure I ate. You're staying here to make sure that my hitchhiker doesn't return. All of that sounds like you're helping me.
no subject
an unwavering warmth, a fierce urge of protectiveness bolstered by deep understanding.
(it feels wonderful to connect like this. to not be left on her own ocean of grief, running out of air and sinking.)
with a sniffle, wanda brings her other hand up to rub at her eyes, the overwhelming sensation drawing tears to her eyes. here, now, she presents as vulnerable and open to cassian; a guy she's only known a month or so, but someone whom she would like to consider a friend, if he'd let her. someone worth trusting, at least. )
...my brother's name was Pietro. I'd — like for him to be remembered, by others, sometimes.
( she says, softly. and because it's true—that she is helping, and he is letting her, she adds, )
Okay. I can stay with you for a bit longer.
( maybe she, too, needs the company. )
no subject
Even as she begins to cry he stays there, resolute. The name of her brother - her twin - hangs in the air between like a phantom presence. A ghost that she carries with her now and always. It's something he understands. This sentiment of a loved one being remembered by others that they trust.
No one he knows has ever met Kerri. The thought of her memory, her existence, snuffing out should something, when something, happens to him is makes his heart clench. ]
I'll remember him.
[ As for the quiet resignation, well. His lips quirk slightly at that. ]
Until I finish my dinner, right?
🎀 !!
though she agrees that she'll stay until he finishes his dinner, wanda stays for longer, a few more hours, keeping him company, reading the magazines that he has in a corner of the room, making herself at home on his bed—all the while he putters away with C4T, works on his own little projects; until sleep threatens to close her eyes does she get up, putting her boots back on, and promising him that she's a call away.
this company—it was definitely something she needed, quiet and subtle. hopefully it did him good, too, even if they hadn't run into either of their mannequins. )