[ A lot runs through her mind in the seconds he answers the phone, when the dial tone suddenly stops and she hears shuffling. The distinct cadence of his voice, how distracting and kind of nice it is to hear his voice. Because it has been a busy couple of weeks— her own work has been picking up and her carpal tunnel has been going insane, sewing the way she has. Trying to fix thread tangles on her shitty little sewing machine, like she has.
Unfortunately, Lottie can never rationalize it all like that. That their schedules have been busy, and that distance between friends (?) is normal. But— they aren't normal, which means none of this is normal, which means it's totally rational to think they may be fighting despite him actually having things to do that aren't her. But, he answered. He's saying hello and her brain blanks, her chest tightens and she stares down dumbly at her phone.
Cassian stares at his phone, mildly confused. He would have written it off as a misfire but then he feels the echo of sheer panic that he's come to associate uniquely with Lottie and he knows that it wasn't a mistake.
There's a somewhat concerned, somewhat disgruntled moment as he sits back on his hind legs into a squat before dialing her number and waiting for the line to connect. ]
[ Oh, she can feel him judging (not really) her. It's the sign, the omen, the precursor to his call that she already knows is coming because why wouldn't he? It's what her ass would do!! So she can't, but absolutely will blame him for the way her phone lights up with his name on her bed sheets (it's on silent).
And after a few rings, she sighs loudly. Groans. Then answers, the line instantly greeting him with silence because of course, Lottie didn't think this far. ]
[ The certainty and dryness in his voice is evident as he begins to resume his work, once again pressing the phone between his ear and shoulder. The worry might have lingered longer had it not been for the fact that they were clearly both aware of what the other is feeling in that moment.
It is one of the few situations where Cassian can't help but feel grateful for it because otherwise he would have been worrying over nothing. ]
[ She kind of hates how.. God, no she doesn't. She really doesn't hate how he's so confident and sure of himself. They may not have talked about it since the train, but there's — something absurdly odd about their connection. Or maybe them (that'd track..). She presses her lips together, pouting.
If she thinks about it he'll know... About— briefly, her mind blares the same verse, over and over, from Rihanna's Umbrella. ]
[ It's hard not to feel a little smug when he hears how much she dislikes this confidence. He might have very well tried to stifle the smugness - but then she admits something that gives him no choice but to feel a little bit smug. ]
Yeah?
[ The corners of his lips lift and the smile is evident in his voice. It probably won't last very long though if their previous interactions are any indication. ]
[ Stop feeling so satisfied!! Her cheeks feel hot— annoying. She stands up to head to her kitchen sink, turn the faucet on to the coldest temperature so she can pat it against her face. ]
I was thinking about you.. [ A beat. ] And your mystery roommate. Why'd the heck you move so far away?
[ Silently over their tethered connection Lottie will hear a distinct, No with that same hint of a smile as he continues to unscrew the pipe beneath the sink so he can get at the source of the clog. ]
He's not a mystery. His name is Amos.
[ But Amos might very well be amused by that sentiment. ]
I'm not that far. I'm a fifteen minute drive at most.
[ Amos? Huh. Sounds vaguely familiar (she leaves the thought at that, doesn't even recall their brief interaction at the diner she so easily got fired at for lollygagging too much). She decides to ignore his no, too, and that twinge of a smile in exchange for pouting into the mirror like he'd see it — feel it, even (he will). ]
[ Thankfully Amos wouldn't be the sort to care if he someone didn't remember him either. But it doesn't even occur to him because he's too preoccupied with feeling a little bit more smug at the smile that he feels from across the distance between his apartment and her room. ]
The last time I checked ten plus five doesn't add up to sixty.
[ There's a rumble of amusement in his chest however despite the wryness in his reply. ]
[ She'll let him pass this vibe check.. For now. Because her math always checks out, even if he doesn't agree to it. Mostly because she kind of likes hearing how amused he is right in her ear, and now— with a click, on speakerphone. ]
You listen to me??
[ It's said on instinct, once she realizes, uh.. Yeah, she did kind of say that, once (he remembers things she says??)? ]
[ He bats it back easily, the amusement still lingering in his voice as unconsciously, he mirrors her action. He's quick to leave the phone beside him and with both hands free he starts in earnest to tackle the clogged sink. ]
Is there another reason you called? [ There's a pause as if he were waiting for her to tell him before - ] Did you miss me?
[ Oh, that does make her heart swarm full and delighted. Lottie's so used to being left on read that even the suggestion of being paid attention to makes her giddy, feel lighter when she looks at her tired reflection in the mirror. She leans against her sink, twirls some of her hair. ]
Sounds like you miss me.
[ She evades his question, joking or not, successfully. Because she does — it's hard for her not to since he's so ingrained in her life, her thoughts. So the easiest way to save face is redirect him, poke and prod since she'd get the best kind of rush if he said yes. ]
[ The swell of delight is an impossible thing to miss and he's glad for it. The darkness that they hadn't spoken a word about since they'd left the train is not far from his mind. It dips in and out, reminding him at mostly inopportune moments that they have something that has happened to them both that they haven't spoken about in the light of day.
Even though a part of him knows he should do something about it, he can't bring himself to, deterred by old habits of avoidance despite a willingness to want to try and do better. There's no good time to though. They haven't seen one another in a while despite strings of text messages and now certainly isn't a good time either. Not when he's dislodged a pipe.
So instead he offers her a noncommittal hum in response to her redirection (because he's well aware of what it is) before answering the question she's posed to him. ]
[ He isn't the only avoidant — Lottie makes it a talent to leave problems on the back burner for as long as she can, even if she does want to talk about it. Clear things up about everything he knows now, how close they'd gotten in the dark of that train. She even has a fun fact list of other things that happened to her, to strategically lighten the conversation if it got too emotional.
..That's what the candygram was (maybe, if the vibe was right) meant to open. It was, maybe (definitely), also just because she missed him and his attention. The kind she can't really get front texts. Both of which seems like problems that won't be resolved because he hums, in that same noncommittal way she does when she wants to be mysterious. In demand.
..Is he trying to be mysterious and in demand? She knows where he lives!! ]
[ Funny then that the universe sought to shove to avoidant personalities together. Funny and possibly disastrous. But train aside, Cassian has never been one to put labels on things. Labels sometimes define things too clearly, put too much meaning to them to the point where it could hurt more if he lost them And he's already lost so much.
The thought of losing Lottie and whatever it is between them is...well, he doesn't really want to think about that.
There's a soft amused huff at her sure statement. ]
Was I?
[ He is unfortunately in the middle of a project that does sort of require him to complete it if they want to turn the water back on. And being the good, thoughtful roommate he is, Cassian is doing his best to get this plumbing issue sorted before Amos returns. ]
[ But.. He always does? That's the one thing she's sure of in this sea of unknowns, their fantastical connection and simply— them. They've been long in each other's orbit to have a normal a standard she expects from him. Like him being the designated driver, like her being allowed privilege to snack on his food. Or drink! She doesn't discriminate.
Part of that is expecting him to bend, to think her cute and go along with her whims. Part of her forgets that things can not go according to her plans and she goes: ]
Oh!
[ Is that a no?
Is this him politely telling her no? Does he not want to hang out with her?? Is it someone scary third reason she doesn't want to consider, like he knows she sent all those candygrams and now she's a weirdo he kissed?? ]
I mean, it doesn't have to be now! I got some stuff to do, too.. [ She says, in her underwear inside her bathroom doing nothing. ] What about later?
[ Yes, it's true. Cassian has somehow inexplicably become Lottie Person's personal rideshare service. Just without the sharing because very few other people in the Diadem have been extended such a service. It isn't just though, is it?
He's also bent a lot of what he wouldn't stand for with other people for her. A part of him, though he wouldn't outwardly admit it, actually kind of likes it from time to time too. That it isn't really that much of an effort as he would sometimes make it out to be. ]
I'm not sure how long this will take.
[ And he means that. Will it be a straightforward fix? He hopes so. But he's not some clairvoyant that can see into the future. And though he doesn't really want to any kind of ability, even he has to admit that would be a useful ability to have in this moment. The next pipe he's about to tug out of place slips and he curses slightly under his breath. ]
Is there another reason you don't want to drive over?
[ Lottie can tell that a lot of his bending is for her, only. Call it instinct, call it watching him in public enough to see him put his foot down but complying when she tries the same thing. It's cute. It's heart warming, when he makes it out to be a pain.
But he's cursing under his breath, and she's keying into the fact it isn't because of her, or a secret third thing (person?!). Flits of his irritation trickle into the connection, Lottie finally realizing he might actually be doing something and not playing coy. She plays with her hair, the ones framing her face as she mulls over an answer. Is it worth lying? Telling a partial truth? ]
I don't like driving. [ Also, she kind of likes it when he drives her. He's better and can see far cleaner in the dark— and he's just unfortunately cooler behind the wheel. It does something for her (she will not think about this too hard). ] I can, if you think I won't distract you.
[ And then she leans in towards her phone, curious. ]
[ It's true; Cassian has been bluntly unimpressed with others in the past and in front of Lottie too. People who had been trying to ply him for a better deal when he was selling his refurbished wares or trying to swindle him into paying more than what he knew what something was worth. The rest of Panorama rarely got to see the softer side of him and that was perhaps by design.
There's a sigh from the other side of the phone that could sound like it's directed at her but really it's directed at the damn pipe. It comes out with a little more elbow grease than he'd like but at least it's out. ]
Fixing a pipe. There's a clog.
[ In other words, the water is off and he's got a finite amount of time (put on by himself) that he'd like to try and finish the project in. ]
[ Ew. Not manual labor.. But, she guesses, not as ew because it's Cassian. Just a mild pain because that's the reason why he can't pick her up, a pipe. IDLY< Lotte wonders if it was him or his roommate that caused it (probably that other guy, Cassian isn't dirty). ]
Theeeeen.. I'll see you in an hour?
[ She suggests, tone lilting light and edging on casual at the end. But she is very much serious about this. She has to know if he got her things. She has to see how cute his place might look, now. ]
[ Amos isn't that dirty either for what it's worth. Their apartment on the other hand was a fixer upper. Things creaked, some things leaked or in this case clogged. But they'd both put some elbow grease into cleaning and it was arguably far less dusty and grimy than it had been when they'd fist gotten the keys to the place.
All of which to say: Lottie will be horrified at how un-cute this place still looks after only several weeks. ]
[ She absolutely will be horrified. But the only thing that's horrifying her now is the fact she has to get dressed. ]
Cool! See you soon.
[ Still, she smiles into the phone by the time she hangs up, puts her phone face down on the nightstand to run to her closet. The only way for her to tell the passage of time is staring down at the monstrous pile of clothes overtaking her bed. What kind of outfit would he like? A dress? Something like a co-ord? What Lottie does he want her to be? And when she blinks at the scrappy top she holds up, she thinks: Why does she care so much??
In the end, she's parking in front of his place with a pair of sneakers and jeans on, barely on time. The crop top is her marriage of looking cute and nonchalant, like she cares just enough to wear pants, but not enough to wear heels.
She takes a moment mid-reverse (she's over the lines) to text him— ]
[ Cassian hangs up, returning to his work nonethewiser of the chaos that is about to ensue.
And while Lottie takes the time to change, he is preoccupied with the pipes. Luckily the hour is a productive one with him unclogging the sink and putting everything back together in record time. That does mean however that that lives him little time to shower.
His phone chimes with Lottie's text and he looks down, prompting him to think that maybe he should change lest he hear complaints about it. ]
Door is unlocked Apartment XXX
[ By the time Lottie makes it up the stairs into their apartment, Cassian emerges from his bedroom just tugging his shirt on the rest of the way. ]
[ Unlocked? Wow, risky. She leaves him on read, choosing to walk up towards his front door instead. It takes her a moment of reading numbers, figuring directions, but by the time she gets to opening the doorknob and entering he's— ]
Uhhh.. Yeah!! Pretty small complex.
[ Lottie tries very hard to remember the real reason why she's here, because it definitely isn't being nosy at how his new place looks. Then— Candygrams. Right!! She has no time to be distracted by the sliver of stomach she saw when he slid that shirt down, or the fact he made sure to dress proper for her (any bickering on her end is promptly shoved aside, pleased at the change in outfit).
She finds the nearest table to put her lanyard on, the clink of metal on wood loud as she eyes just about everything. Mostly, surfaces where trinkets or snacks could go on... ]
It's pretty big in here.. Almost like my old place.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Unfortunately, Lottie can never rationalize it all like that. That their schedules have been busy, and that distance between friends (?) is normal. But— they aren't normal, which means none of this is normal, which means it's totally rational to think they may be fighting despite him actually having things to do that aren't her. But, he answered. He's saying hello and her brain blanks, her chest tightens and she stares down dumbly at her phone.
..He answered?
Oh, fuck! He answered!! ]
....
[ Lottie immediately hangs up on him. ]
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Cassian stares at his phone, mildly confused. He would have written it off as a misfire but then he feels the echo of sheer panic that he's come to associate uniquely with Lottie and he knows that it wasn't a mistake.
There's a somewhat concerned, somewhat disgruntled moment as he sits back on his hind legs into a squat before dialing her number and waiting for the line to connect. ]
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And after a few rings, she sighs loudly. Groans. Then answers, the line instantly greeting him with silence because of course, Lottie didn't think this far. ]
...W.. What?
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[ The certainty and dryness in his voice is evident as he begins to resume his work, once again pressing the phone between his ear and shoulder. The worry might have lingered longer had it not been for the fact that they were clearly both aware of what the other is feeling in that moment.
It is one of the few situations where Cassian can't help but feel grateful for it because otherwise he would have been worrying over nothing. ]
Was it a mistake?
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If she thinks about it he'll know... About— briefly, her mind blares the same verse, over and over, from Rihanna's Umbrella. ]
No... I guess I was just thinking about you.
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Yeah?
[ The corners of his lips lift and the smile is evident in his voice. It probably won't last very long though if their previous interactions are any indication. ]
Is there a reason?
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[ Stop feeling so satisfied!! Her cheeks feel hot— annoying. She stands up to head to her kitchen sink, turn the faucet on to the coldest temperature so she can pat it against her face. ]
I was thinking about you.. [ A beat. ] And your mystery roommate. Why'd the heck you move so far away?
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He's not a mystery. His name is Amos.
[ But Amos might very well be amused by that sentiment. ]
I'm not that far. I'm a fifteen minute drive at most.
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And you used to be five.
[ Lottie whines into the phone. ]
You're like an hour away now!
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The last time I checked ten plus five doesn't add up to sixty.
[ There's a rumble of amusement in his chest however despite the wryness in his reply. ]
Didn't you say everything was farther in LA?
[ See? He does listen. ]
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You listen to me??
[ It's said on instinct, once she realizes, uh.. Yeah, she did kind of say that, once (he remembers things she says??)? ]
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[ He bats it back easily, the amusement still lingering in his voice as unconsciously, he mirrors her action. He's quick to leave the phone beside him and with both hands free he starts in earnest to tackle the clogged sink. ]
Is there another reason you called? [ There's a pause as if he were waiting for her to tell him before - ] Did you miss me?
[ It's mostly a joke. Mostly. ]
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Sounds like you miss me.
[ She evades his question, joking or not, successfully. Because she does — it's hard for her not to since he's so ingrained in her life, her thoughts. So the easiest way to save face is redirect him, poke and prod since she'd get the best kind of rush if he said yes. ]
When are you gonna invite me over?
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Even though a part of him knows he should do something about it, he can't bring himself to, deterred by old habits of avoidance despite a willingness to want to try and do better. There's no good time to though. They haven't seen one another in a while despite strings of text messages and now certainly isn't a good time either. Not when he's dislodged a pipe.
So instead he offers her a noncommittal hum in response to her redirection (because he's well aware of what it is) before answering the question she's posed to him. ]
Are you going to drive here?
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..That's what the candygram was (maybe, if the vibe was right) meant to open. It was, maybe (definitely), also just because she missed him and his attention. The kind she can't really get front texts. Both of which seems like problems that won't be resolved because he hums, in that same noncommittal way she does when she wants to be mysterious. In demand.
..Is he trying to be mysterious and in demand? She knows where he lives!! ]
..I thought you were gonna pick me up?
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The thought of losing Lottie and whatever it is between them is...well, he doesn't really want to think about that.
There's a soft amused huff at her sure statement. ]
Was I?
[ He is unfortunately in the middle of a project that does sort of require him to complete it if they want to turn the water back on. And being the good, thoughtful roommate he is, Cassian is doing his best to get this plumbing issue sorted before Amos returns. ]
I'm kind of in the middle of something.
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Part of that is expecting him to bend, to think her cute and go along with her whims. Part of her forgets that things can not go according to her plans and she goes: ]
Oh!
[ Is that a no?
Is this him politely telling her no? Does he not want to hang out with her?? Is it someone scary third reason she doesn't want to consider, like he knows she sent all those candygrams and now she's a weirdo he kissed?? ]
I mean, it doesn't have to be now! I got some stuff to do, too.. [ She says, in her underwear inside her bathroom doing nothing. ] What about later?
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He's also bent a lot of what he wouldn't stand for with other people for her. A part of him, though he wouldn't outwardly admit it, actually kind of likes it from time to time too. That it isn't really that much of an effort as he would sometimes make it out to be. ]
I'm not sure how long this will take.
[ And he means that. Will it be a straightforward fix? He hopes so. But he's not some clairvoyant that can see into the future. And though he doesn't really want to any kind of ability, even he has to admit that would be a useful ability to have in this moment. The next pipe he's about to tug out of place slips and he curses slightly under his breath. ]
Is there another reason you don't want to drive over?
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But he's cursing under his breath, and she's keying into the fact it isn't because of her, or a secret third thing (person?!). Flits of his irritation trickle into the connection, Lottie finally realizing he might actually be doing something and not playing coy. She plays with her hair, the ones framing her face as she mulls over an answer. Is it worth lying? Telling a partial truth? ]
I don't like driving. [ Also, she kind of likes it when he drives her. He's better and can see far cleaner in the dark— and he's just unfortunately cooler behind the wheel. It does something for her (she will not think about this too hard). ] I can, if you think I won't distract you.
[ And then she leans in towards her phone, curious. ]
What are you even doing, anyway??
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There's a sigh from the other side of the phone that could sound like it's directed at her but really it's directed at the damn pipe. It comes out with a little more elbow grease than he'd like but at least it's out. ]
Fixing a pipe. There's a clog.
[ In other words, the water is off and he's got a finite amount of time (put on by himself) that he'd like to try and finish the project in. ]
You won't distract me if you come over.
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Theeeeen.. I'll see you in an hour?
[ She suggests, tone lilting light and edging on casual at the end. But she is very much serious about this. She has to know if he got her things. She has to see how cute his place might look, now. ]
If that's cool?
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All of which to say: Lottie will be horrified at how un-cute this place still looks after only several weeks. ]
Yeah. Let me know when you're on your way.
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Cool! See you soon.
[ Still, she smiles into the phone by the time she hangs up, puts her phone face down on the nightstand to run to her closet. The only way for her to tell the passage of time is staring down at the monstrous pile of clothes overtaking her bed. What kind of outfit would he like? A dress? Something like a co-ord? What Lottie does he want her to be? And when she blinks at the scrappy top she holds up, she thinks: Why does she care so much??
In the end, she's parking in front of his place with a pair of sneakers and jeans on, barely on time. The crop top is her marriage of looking cute and nonchalant, like she cares just enough to wear pants, but not enough to wear heels.
She takes a moment mid-reverse (she's over the lines) to text him— ]
parking! Lol
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[ Cassian hangs up, returning to his work nonethewiser of the chaos that is about to ensue.
And while Lottie takes the time to change, he is preoccupied with the pipes. Luckily the hour is a productive one with him unclogging the sink and putting everything back together in record time. That does mean however that that lives him little time to shower.
His phone chimes with Lottie's text and he looks down, prompting him to think that maybe he should change lest he hear complaints about it. ]
Door is unlocked
Apartment XXX
[ By the time Lottie makes it up the stairs into their apartment, Cassian emerges from his bedroom just tugging his shirt on the rest of the way. ]
You found it okay?
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Uhhh.. Yeah!! Pretty small complex.
[ Lottie tries very hard to remember the real reason why she's here, because it definitely isn't being nosy at how his new place looks. Then— Candygrams. Right!! She has no time to be distracted by the sliver of stomach she saw when he slid that shirt down, or the fact he made sure to dress proper for her (any bickering on her end is promptly shoved aside, pleased at the change in outfit).
She finds the nearest table to put her lanyard on, the clink of metal on wood loud as she eyes just about everything. Mostly, surfaces where trinkets or snacks could go on... ]
It's pretty big in here.. Almost like my old place.
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