[ He doesn't have to because he can see it so clearly. Or at least the looks she had given him during their supposed partnership. Part of the distance he'd put between Kimiko and anyone else he'd met in the gala on the train is mostly Cassian trying to untangle what is fact and fiction in his mind. Though he'd be lying if he said that a part of him relishes it, really. ]
Everything returns to the earth - isn't that the saying?
[ It was, in fact a saying on Kenari. Or at least one half of a saying. ]
Yeah. Wasn't going to stay in Acreage if everyone else was going back.
[ Like it's that easy; like the train was nothing at all. It's true, though. She doesn't care about Panorama either way, other than building her own life, her own family. Maybe the train, with its finessing little fantasies, helped her remember that. ]
[ It's easier to act like the train was nothing at all. Then again, it's easier said than done with the way his heart tends to cling to what he'd try to consider unnecessary feelings. ]
[ He recalls how clever she was in that fictional life; how quick she was to pick up on small details and situations. They're transferable skills, probably. But in the same breath he also understands the worry of destructive tendencies affecting others around them. It's not something he's going to push. ]
It's hard to forget that creature But yes, I do remember Are you asking if I still remember how to sign?
[ Could she learn? Probably. But it would still be a few days' drive from the city; a wall between her and those she cares about. No Laura, no Lune, no Amos. They would likely forget about her. It isn't worth the cost.
And, irritatingly, he gets to the heart of the question. She remembers — a ghost of a dynamic. An episode of something watched inside a dream. Schemes and bickering and survival, all alongside a man who may as well have been a brother, and a world where Kenji's signs were a galactic norm. She's been awake long enough now to know that none of it was real. She doesn't know Cassian, not really, and he doesn't know her either.
[ If they felt comfortable with one another, if they weren't very nearly complete strangers, Cassian might ask why she feels like they would forget her. He doesn't know the others, but he knows Amos. And Amos is the sort of person who, once you've earned his trust, once he's decided that you're worth giving that to, he won't turn his back on them. Cassian has had a lifetime of broken promises and running away, and if there's one thing that he's learned - and will never feel deserving of - is that people that care will never forget.
But he and Kimiko are practically strangers; their comradery from that life in the train didn't really exist in a way that let him know he had someone to watch his back. That he could trust implicitly without any hesitation. There's maybe only a handful of people here that he can count on that here for but that doesn't mean he would balk at the idea of adding another to that list. ]
Yes
[ There's no point in lying. So he follows it up with another question. ]
[ Yes, yes, yes. It's cheating, technically, maybe, but — who fucking cares? Kimiko spends her whole life on her back foot, trying to communicate with the people around her. She can let herself have this. Kenji would understand. ]
Yeah. It could come in handy.
[ A light pause, before this next bit. He might fill the space with a message of his own, but she keeps going all the same. ]
Thanks. You might not remember but in the dream world, you held off the monster princess so I could get away.
[ That meant... something. What, she's not sure. Just — something. ]
[ It is cheating, technically, maybe, but if he's being honest if the hyperspace of a train ride was the price he'd had to pay to learn a new language at least he got something out of it. And more than that, a part of him understands not being able to effectively communicate with those around him.
Basic Standard had felt clunky and unfamiliar on his tongue for so long. It had been through a mixture of survival and sheer stubbornness that had allowed him mastery of it. His own desire and enjoyment of learning languages aside, it means keeping a connection to someone that he wants to keep one with. Not that he knows what that looks like or what that means but his thought mirrors hers - it's something. ]
Then I better keep practicing
[ And then her next text comes in giving him pause. ]
I wasn't going to leave you We were partners And we wouldn't have gotten out if not for you
[ She doesn't bother demurring or rejecting his interpretation of events. He's right. She would not have gotten to the door without him. He would not have gotten through the door without her. Partners. It's a nice thought.
He says he'll keep practicing, and that— that's nice too. ]
I also make a pretty good meat shield. If you're ever in trouble.
[ It is a nice thought. And it's been something he's been mulling over ever since they'd gotten off that damn train. So often he was used to working alone. Even when he found himself in situations where he had to work with others they had simply been looking out for themselves. Working alone had become a preference because at least he knew where his loyalties stood: to himself. Somewhere along the line however that had slowly eroded away.
Cassian is practical above all else. He is under no illusion that they will find that same dynamic, that same trust as what those fake versions of themselves had built. But it would be nice, he thinks, to have that. Maybe not tomorrow, but some day ]
Let's hope it doesn't come to that No more train heists - at least not ones with creatures like that
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ It's a good thing he can't see the look on her face right now. ]
But if you had been dead, I would have let the cows eat you.
[ You know, those famously carnivorous creatures — cows. ]
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Everything returns to the earth - isn't that the saying?
[ It was, in fact a saying on Kenari. Or at least one half of a saying. ]
I take it you made it back too?
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Wasn't going to stay in Acreage if everyone else was going back.
[ Like it's that easy; like the train was nothing at all. It's true, though. She doesn't care about Panorama either way, other than building her own life, her own family. Maybe the train, with its finessing little fantasies, helped her remember that. ]
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A quiet, farming life didn't appeal to you?
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[ She isn't always quite aware of her own strength. ]
Do you remember
In our train dream
You understood everything I said.
[ When she signed. ]
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[ He recalls how clever she was in that fictional life; how quick she was to pick up on small details and situations. They're transferable skills, probably. But in the same breath he also understands the worry of destructive tendencies affecting others around them. It's not something he's going to push. ]
It's hard to forget that creature
But yes, I do remember
Are you asking if I still remember how to sign?
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And, irritatingly, he gets to the heart of the question. She remembers — a ghost of a dynamic. An episode of something watched inside a dream. Schemes and bickering and survival, all alongside a man who may as well have been a brother, and a world where Kenji's signs were a galactic norm. She's been awake long enough now to know that none of it was real. She doesn't know Cassian, not really, and he doesn't know her either.
But she wants this. She can hardly say why. ]
Maybe.
Do you?
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But he and Kimiko are practically strangers; their comradery from that life in the train didn't really exist in a way that let him know he had someone to watch his back. That he could trust implicitly without any hesitation. There's maybe only a handful of people here that he can count on that here for but that doesn't mean he would balk at the idea of adding another to that list. ]
Yes
[ There's no point in lying. So he follows it up with another question. ]
Do you want me to remember?
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Yeah.
It could come in handy.
[ A light pause, before this next bit. He might fill the space with a message of his own, but she keeps going all the same. ]
Thanks.
You might not remember but in the dream world, you held off the monster princess so I could get away.
[ That meant... something. What, she's not sure. Just — something. ]
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Basic Standard had felt clunky and unfamiliar on his tongue for so long. It had been through a mixture of survival and sheer stubbornness that had allowed him mastery of it. His own desire and enjoyment of learning languages aside, it means keeping a connection to someone that he wants to keep one with. Not that he knows what that looks like or what that means but his thought mirrors hers - it's something. ]
Then I better keep practicing
[ And then her next text comes in giving him pause. ]
I wasn't going to leave you
We were partners
And we wouldn't have gotten out if not for you
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He says he'll keep practicing, and that— that's nice too. ]
I also make a pretty good meat shield.
If you're ever in trouble.
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Cassian is practical above all else. He is under no illusion that they will find that same dynamic, that same trust as what those fake versions of themselves had built. But it would be nice, he thinks, to have that. Maybe not tomorrow, but some day ]
Let's hope it doesn't come to that
No more train heists - at least not ones with creatures like that